


Don't Belong

by tzaya



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: +some peace shizuo, F/M, Jealousy, M/M, Mild Angst, Raijin Days, Slight pining, angry izaya, basically shizuo got himself a girlfriend, but i had to ahh and it's raijin again, can i be called the raijin princess yet, like i know i said my next oneshot would be fluff or another pairing, mutual hatred, non established relationship, yes still in character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 23:54:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6215263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tzaya/pseuds/tzaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I hate seeing you trying to blend in. You were born to stick out like a sore thumb. Why can’t you just stick to the rules?”<br/>“Monsters should be feared and avoided, and they’re supposed to maul the girl like a hungry lion,” Izaya sneered, whispering the last bit into Shizuo’s ear, and his sharp blade nudges further into Shizuo’s skin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Belong

It all started when a girl approached Heiwajima Shizuo.

It was like something that came out of a manga. Confessing under the falling cherry blossom petals—and towards a person who’d always been lonely?

Why wouldn’t it work?

He could see the hesitation in Shizuo’s eyes as Shizuo glanced at those hands -the hands that only knew destruction- which brought a smile to Izaya’s face. He really awaited the clear rejection shooting in her direction.

It never came.

 

“I still can’t believe that this is happening.”

Izaya left Shinra and Kadota behind to catch up with Shizuo, skipping by his side and he found it amusing to see Shizuo being in close proximity with a girl. Izaya earned himself a glare but it vanished when Yui, Shizuo’s new girlfriend gave Shizuo’s sleeve a tug, shifting his attention to her.

“Are you cold?” Shizuo asked Yui.

“No, I’m fine. What about Shizuo senpa—”

“I’m cold!”

Izaya threw his arms around Shizuo, nudging his cheek against Shizuo’s coat. His act had the both of them skip to the side and accidentally hit Yui who was walking alongside them. Much to her dismay, Shizuo was too busy making an attempt to shake Izaya off of him to apologize. Even when she frowned, he didn’t take notice of it.

She tried speaking up again.

“I’m a bit thirsty.”

“Oh, I’ll go buy you a drink,” Shizuo immediately complied— only after giving Yui a nod that he hurried ahead to find a vending machine, leaving Yui and Izaya behind.

“What a romantic, Shizu-chan! I want green tea.”

“Lovebirds,” Kadota sighed as he watched his friends’ antics, smiling, “I wish I had someone to be like that with.”

“It’s already a daily thing with me and Celty! I’d go back and forth to the store hundreds of times if she asked me to. This morning, she told me that we were running out of coffee, so I ran to the store in my pajamas.”

Kadota tuned Shinra out after he spared the bespectacled boy a laugh. It didn’t take too long for Izaya to join them once again since Shizuo had already left. Sometimes, Kadota wondered if Izaya only lived to get on Shizuo’s nerves. It really did seem like it. He could never miss a chance to pick at everything Shizuo did.

“You can practice on me, Dotachin.”

“No thanks,” Kadota didn’t even need to think twice about Izaya’s offer.

“Excuse me…? Izaya senpai.”

A feminine voice greeted them and they all turned their attention to Yui who came to stand in front of them, her lips pursed and she appeared to be quite nervous from the way her fingers were fiddling with the hem of her skirt.

Izaya especially seemed interested in what she had to say.

“I know that you like to tease Shizuo senpai. But he’s told me that he really doesn’t like you. So I’d appreciate it if you leave him alone, because I think you’re interrupting our time together as well. Ah, I’m not trying to be rude. I hope you’ll understand… Thank you!”

Yui quickly bowed before running off, not giving any time for Izaya to answer her regarding her request. It was highly unlikely that Izaya was going to do as she’d asked him to, but her bravery to be so blunt and confronted him impressed him, anyway.

“Could it be…? Love triangle!”

Shinra exclaimed, he seemed to be rather excited, as though he was watching a drama on television— despite the ‘characters’ being his friend. Kadota shouldn’t have expected Shinra to be helpful in untangling the mess that could become more complicated, considering Shizuo and Izaya were involved.

He could only sigh.

“I don’t think that’s it.”

 

Things had gotten interesting.

It was fun, being able to discover new sides to Shizuo. Because of this, too, Izaya hadn’t been skipping classes.

Shizuo couldn’t even give his girlfriend a kiss. He was too awkward since it was all new to him, and it was only good that he was able to at least hold hands with her. They were moving at a slow pace, which seemed boring. Izaya had to know if Shizuo was a bad kisser.

Shizuo worked hard to please her. Izaya almost thought that Shizuo had become someone’s butler instead of a lover. It wasn’t the way to go, he was spoiling her too much, but it wasn’t like Izaya could tell him that. He had fun watching Shizuo run around to do this and that. Yui didn’t utter a word about it either— she was probably enjoying the treatment.

 

“So what do you like about Shizu-chan?”

“Hm? Let’s see… Shizuo senpai is strong. I think it makes him one in a million, since not even the scientists have seen this kind of strength in a human before! And despite many people saying that he’s scary… I think that he’s a warm person inside. Once you get to know him, you’ll discover that he has a gentle side to him, too. He treats me very kindly.”

“That’s hilarious. It doesn’t sound like Shizu-chan at all.”

There was pain shooting through his head when Shizuo approached them. He hadn’t noticed Shizuo’s presence until he received a smack of a can of soda to his temple and Shizuo’s face -which was painted with the familiar rage he came to see everyday- greeted his eyes.

“I hope you’re not tainting Yui, Izaya-kun. Ah, thanks for waiting, Yui, you should get to your class soon.”

“Can you see this?” Izaya winced, bringing a hand up to rub at the crown of his head.

“It’s because he doesn’t like Izaya senpai. You’ve been troubling him, so it’s only normal that he acts this way.”

Yui spared him a small smile, and Izaya had to suppress the laughter that was bubbling in his throat, threatening to slip out. He’d concluded that she really disliked him. It was fine, however, because she was still a human, and she wasn’t the first person to feel that way towards him. He’d love her imperfections along with the ugly view she had of him.

“Correct.”

****

**[ Meet me near the gym at 5. –Shizuo ]**

 

“Why do you look so happy?”

Izaya turned his head to meet Shinra’s gaze.

“I wonder why? Perhaps something interesting is going to happen?”

He smiled, taking out a pen from his pocket before placing it in Shinra’s hand.

“Anyway, thanks for lending me this.”

 

**5:15 P.M**

“He told me to meet him here… and he’s fifteen minutes late,” she muttered to herself, holding on to the note Shizuo had left in her locker.

“Are you by any chance waiting for Heiwajima Shizuo?”

Yui arched a brow, tearing her gaze off of her watch to meet the sight of snickering boys -she calculated there to be about ten of them- and no Shizuo. Some of the boys were carrying baseball bats. They didn’t seem very friendly by the menacing grins painted across their faces. It brought confusion onto her, and she wondered if she’d been tricked.

Shizuo wouldn’t do such a thing, would he?

“Yes, I am.”

“Shall we have some fun, Yui-chan?”

“What’s… going on?”

“Just look at that! Like a lamb to the slaughter.”

The rail gave a little shook when Izaya nudged his body against it with a laugh, eager to see more and closer despite already having his binoculars in his hand. It didn’t even faze him that he was on the rooftop and if he leaned too far, he could fall to his death. 

“What are you looking at?”

Izaya's crimson gaze met the sight of familiar bleached hair once he glanced over his shoulder.

 

All Shizuo talked about was her.

It seemed like he’d gotten more comfortable and Izaya didn’t know what to make of it. He was lucky if he could get even five minutes of Shizuo’s time. More than often, Yui would stuck by Shizuo’s side, whispering into his hear and convincing him to play the ignore card on Izaya. Izaya didn’t like to admit it but she’d crossed the line.

Who was she to come in between Shizuo and him?

“Why are you laughing?”

Kadota tipped his head to the side, puzzled when Shizuo just started to chuckle while they were packing up to go home after the bell rung, signaling that school had ended for the day.

“I just remembered a joke she told me.”

“Yui-chan?”

“Yeah.”

“What is it? What is it?” Shinra chirped in.

“She told me to keep it a secret.”

Shizuo’s phone beeped with a text and he ignored Shinra’s whines, flipping the phone with a flick of his wrist as his eyes scanned over the message quickly before he shut the device closed, reaching out to grab his bag.

“S’ry, I can’t join you today. Yui wants to meet me after school.”

“It’s okay. Go spend time with her, Shizuo,” Kadota gave Shizuo an encouraging pat, a proud smile playing on his lips.

“Isn’t that all he’s been doing nowadays?”

Izaya spoke without thinking, and silence washed over him for a brief moment— unknowing of the reason why, he despised her at that moment. He’d love her less for causing him such a feeling, he decided as he mirrored Shizuo’s smile with his own, one which had his lips stretched out wide that his cheeks started to hurt.

“What kind of cake do you think she’d like? Thinking of buyin’ one on the way.”

Shizuo ignored him.

“She loves strawberry shortcake.”

It didn’t matter.

“Aah? How’d you know that?”

Izaya could rope Shizuo into looking at him again.

“I have my sources.”

Speaking of her was the guarantee.

“Shizuo, you shouldn’t make a lady wait!” Shinra interrupted, tapping his index finger on the glass surface of his watch.

“Huh? Oh, yeah.”

But Izaya wasn’t done.

“What’s so good about her?”

It was a light tug, his fingers grasping Shizuo’s white shirt, but Shizuo still turned his head to stare down at Izaya. And for once, he voiced what was exactly stirring inside of him— letting the feelings and desire to know engulf him whole just for Shizuo to once again exceed his expectations. It wasn’t a list of her beauty that he received, not even _two_ points, yet he felt as though an entire essay was fit into those simple words. Those simple words that made him feel unsettled.

“She’s not you.”

He could only smile.

 

Shizuo no longer had his eyes on Izaya.

The only time he gained Shizuo’s attention was when he managed to rile Shizuo up so much that Shizuo ended up chasing him around school. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. He needed to remind Shizuo that his strength and temper remained the same despite scoring a girl. Shizuo had to remember his place in this world.

There was a bad taste left in his mouth when he saw those hands not gripping poles or dusted with debris of bricks but instead held gentleness in them. It simply didn’t belong. And while Izaya liked changes and evolutions, this one felt like blades poking at his heart.

 

“What’s wrong with you?”

Shizuo let out a hiss, taken off guard when Izaya pinned him down onto the ground as soon as he emerged from the door to the rooftop, meeting Izaya’s exasperated expression which he wasn’t used to. His brows knitted and hand pointing his knife to Shizuo’s jugular, Izaya seemed to be confused between restraining the bottled anger or to let it burst, though the trembles coursing through his body had already decided for him.

“What’s wrong with _me_?”

“I don’t understand how someone like you could attract people so much! You ask for company then push them away because of your fear of causing damage to them— but they still flock to you. I really don’t get it. Is there anything charming about Shizu-chan?”

A chortle fell from Izaya’s lips as his fingers brushed Shizuo’s bleached bangs aside, gaze trailing over Shizuo’s facial features briefly until he hung his head low with another chortle, this time with a hint of disbelief, head shook as if he couldn’t find any appeal in Shizuo.

“Oh, seems like there isn’t? We shouldn’t even get started with your personality. With a temper that bad, combined with your abnormal strength, it really isn’t something that’d draw people in. It repels instead! What people see in you, a trait that’s enough to make them adore you, I can never figure what it is. No, even if I do know from the way Yui spoke so highly about you, I still can’t wrap my head around it. It’s like they’re under a spell.”

Izaya emitted a smothered laugh, two of his fingertips pinching between his eyes.

“And what made Shizu-chan act different this time? You accepted her confession, unlike the other girls. If you’re thinking that by being close to her that you’d become more human, you made the wrong choice. You may think that it’s working now, but it won’t be long until things go wrong. Settling for another monster would suit you better.”

“What’s your point?” Shizuo asked, irritated.

“I hate seeing you trying to blend in. You were born to stick out like a sore thumb. Why can’t you just stick to the rules?”

“Monsters should be feared and avoided, and _they’re supposed to_ _maul the girl like a hungry lion_ ,” Izaya sneered, whispering the last bit into Shizuo’s ear, and his sharp blade nudges further into Shizuo’s skin.

He couldn’t comprehend what happened after that— Shizuo’s fingers were tangled in his hair, tugging at the strands with a force that earned a yelp from Izaya, and he remembered that there was a pair of lips pressed onto his.

The kiss ended as soon as it came.

“What are you–” Izaya breathed out.

He didn’t get to have another word in when Shizuo felt so warm against him, and his heartbeat seemed to match Izaya’s. That much he could register when Shizuo’s arms circled around his back to tug him into that embrace, one which felt rather comfortable despite making his breath hitch in surprise.

“You wanted love so badly, right? So there you have it.”

There was a mocking smile carved on Shizuo’s lips, making his mind feel clouded and temperature of his body rising.

“Now stop being a sulky child and bothering me.”

“Don’t joke around,” he chuckled, the teeth baring grin didn’t seem so sincere once Shizuo noticed the way his jaw clenched in anger.

“Stop acting like you understand me. I can get love if I wished for it.”

“And who’s to say Yui-chan didn’t only want you because she thought that display of strength you did was cool? It’s not like she knew you your whole life to be spouting off about how gentle you are inside. Don’t be foolish, Shizu-chan.”

“Then do you think you know her?” Shizuo narrowed his gaze. He appeared to be calmer than Izaya expected him to be.

“It won’t be long until you lose temper in front of her either.”

“I’m asking if you know her.”

Izaya’s gaze narrowed with a dangerous glint, his fingers crumpling Shizuo’s shirt when he gripped them too strongly until he gave Shizuo a push before getting back onto his feet, leaving Shizuo’s question unanswered.

“A monster is meant to be alone.”

 

Shizuo wasn’t destined to be with somebody. The ridiculous strength he had was bound to take a toll in a relationship, and only an idiot would sign themselves up for that. It would’ve been better for him to be alone— or better yet, disappear from the face of earth.

Although Izaya himself wasn’t interested in having a lover, it was revolting to know that Shizuo had someone by his side. Once again, he was a step ahead of Izaya. He often turned down the affection and company Izaya craved, avoiding them just for them to still pursue him over and over again.

How unfair is that?

 

“What happened with you and Yui-chan?”

Shinra asked Shizuo once they’d returned to school after the golden week ended. They didn’t meet at all during the holiday, which was out of the norm, but not very surprising considering how busy they were with their own matters.

“Ah, turned out we didn’t match after all.”

Izaya’s fingers which were tracing shapes on the table came to a stop upon hearing Shizuo’s retort, which was spoken rather carelessly, only a hint of sorrow was spotted. Perhaps Shizuo never presumed that they’d last forever. Izaya immediately chimed with Shizuo’s word -with a little twist, of course-, not letting the topic go just like that.

“As I’ve said before, monsters are supposed to stay solitary.”

“Not all monsters, Orihara-kun,” Shinra pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, smiling.

“Hm?”

“See, I consider myself to be a monster. I don’t seem to fit as a human, lacking empathy and love towards those around me and I’d ignore all traits of my humanity if I had to, just so I could ensure my spot by Celty’s side. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do. Even if I die and the shed blood on my hands isn’t mine, it doesn’t matter. Still, I want to be with her, and we aren’t as close as how I want us to be yet, but I know the time will come in the future, for us to be together. So don’t you think that some monsters are allowed to have a partner?”

“I suppose.”

“Aren’t you a monster too? In your own way.”

He caught a glimpse of Shizuo, who’d turned away from their conversation and left the two of them to talk by themselves. Izaya leaned back as he stayed seated on top of his desk, palms splayed on the cool surface propping his upper half up, and he lolled his head to the side to give Shinra a smile, finally meeting his friend’s gaze.

“Who knows?”

**Author's Note:**

> this took a few days so i haven't started on may 4, i'm sorry. i really appreciate comments and kudos so if you leave some, thank you so much and thank you to those who read this story. i hope you enjoyed it! ♥


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